I love intro sessions! But of course, as a novice, you’re probably curious about what to expect..

It’s always an honour to introduce a new submissive, slave or fetishist to the world of kink. Personally, it’s very gratifying to feed off the intensity of an experience that, for so many, is the culmination of years of longing and fantasy.

Of course, those contemplating a first session are always anxious, excited and curious about what to expect. Generally, my answer to “What can I expect from a session?” is “A BDSM/kink experience at a light to medium level that incorporates your known interests and respects your limits”.

I’m sure I’ve disappointed a few newbies with that answer, but it’s important to note that very few professional Mistresses will provide a blow-by-blow description of what will happen in a session.

Why is this?
* Functionality. Real play is just that. Real. Unlike the fetish videos you may have seen, it is raw and unedited. That super hot thing you’ve been dying to try? It may not work for you in real life. During a scene, your Domme will pay close attention to your body language, gauging what is working and what is not. Sometimes, the difference between a successful session and a not-so-great one is the ability to move on from something that’s not working and try something else. The obligation to deliver on a promised script tends to preclude this.
*Timewasters. Unfortunately, not everyone who contacts professional Mistresses is sincere. For these people, pre-session communication is an erotic experience in itself. They often seek detailed descriptions of proposed session content as a source of free, personalised erotic fiction. I’m sure you can understand how this tends to make us wary of questions like “What will you do to me?”.
* No spoilers! Quality Mistresses will meticulously incorporate your specific areas of interest into the play. Part of what makes a session fun and exciting is experiencing exactly how your Mistress will use her skill and creativity to bring your interests to life. Of course, we want you to enjoy your session time. It also makes the session time fun for the Domme and makes good business sense.

Need to know more? Many quality professional ladies include reviews and testimonials as part of their online presence, we also talk about our session experiences on our blogs and social media. Perusing these is an excellent way to get a feel for what a session will be like.

Consent:

Quality consent is informed consent. I encourage new players to research widely so they have a solid understanding of their kinks (including the risks involved) from various sources.

On Nerves:

Even experienced submissives are nervous before a session, especially when playing with someone new. This is part of the experience. If you’re not experiencing at least some nervous anticipation before a session, it’s probably time to stop sessioning!

A first session can feel like a big step. It’s okay to be nervous, but as adults, it’s my expectation that the people I play with take responsibility for their own emotions. If you’re nervous to the point where you feel you can’t be reliable or you expect the lady you’ve contacted to cajole you in the door, you’re probably not ready to make a booking.

On Appointments:

So you’ve researched the Dommes in your market, worked out who you’d like to see, and studied her site, and you’re ready to make your fantasy a reality. How do you successfully obtain an appointment?
If you can make appointments with your doctor, dentist, or lawyer, then you have the skills to make an appointment with a Dominatrix. One key to success is remembering you are booking with a professional. Act accordingly!
Every lady’s process is slightly different. Most Dommes outline how they prefer to be contacted on their sites and/or advertising. Deposits are now an industry standard, especially for new clients.

My Booking Process:

As an independent Domme, there are clearly times when I can’t answer my phone. For efficiency, my preference is for contact to be made via email or text message. Obviously, if you’re after a detailed consultation, email is preferable.

A good introductory email or text will include your name, an outline of your session interests, limits, physical limitations, and an indication of when you’d like to come in. It’s always best to put a little thought into communicating your interests respectfully. “Mistress, I’d like to explore anal stimulation and strapon play” tends to read better than “I want you to fuck and finger my slutty asshole.”

In most cases, exchanging three to five messages is sufficient to establish compatibility and agree on a suitable time. You’ll also be given a confirmation time when we’ve agreed on a time for the session.

If you feel more at ease with phone communication before the session, I’m happy to arrange a time for a paid phone consult. I charge $50 for a 5-10 minute exchange to discuss my process, your interests and limits, and a brief outline of what to expect. This must be arranged in advance so we can agree upon a time when I can give you my full attention.

If you can’t attend a booking you’ve made for any reason, it’s a common courtesy to contact me immediately, which will allow your booked time to be re-allocated. Failure to do so will make it unlikely that I will consider your future session requests.

The Day of the Session:

You MUST confirm your session at the time you have been asked to or before. Generally, this time will be 2 hours before your session.
If you do not confirm on time, I may not be able to see you.
Once you confirm, I will give you the dungeon address and instructions for entering the space.

I often get asked about preparation. As a general guide, you should prepare as if you were about to go on a date. If anal play is an interest, you will need to clean out beforehand. There are many resources online to instruct you on how to do this.

Enemas given immediately before play can be problematic as the short time frame can sometimes mean the enema does not fully expel, with messy results.

Potential submissives frequently ask me about genital shaving. As a Professional Dominatrix, I understand that this is not an option for those who have to be discreet about their session activities and, as such, never demand it. Neat grooming is always appreciated.

When you arrive:

I’ll be there to greet you in street clothes. This better facilitates pre-session conversation on a human level, especially with nervous novices. We’ll sit down for a few minutes to discuss your interests, limits, and health limitations. You’ll be given your safeword at this time. This is also your time to ask any additional questions and calm those last-minute nerves.
I will then ask you to shower and show you where to leave your belongings.

The Session:

Finally! Playtime!

I’ll tell you exactly where and how I’d like you to await me in the dungeon. When I enter the room in my fetishwear, the scene begins.
I’m quite fond of protocol, but communication is kept very open in intro sessions. You’ll have your safeword as a failsafe in case you’re really in difficulty, but do remember that the safeword is there to keep you safe, not to control the flow of the session. My full attention will be on you, and I tend to be quite good at gauging how people are dealing with the play as it unfolds.
Do be a good sport and give the activities a fair try. This being a new experience, you’re sure to encounter things that feel a little strange or awkward. You’ll cheat yourself if you don’t give the new experiences a chance.

Afterwards:

When we’re done playing, you will be offered a shower. There are also normally a few minutes to debrief, have a glass of water, and perhaps some chocolate, especially if the play has been intense.

One thing to be aware of in the hours/days following your session is sub-drop. Good play tends to raise a lot of endorphins. The downside is that it can leave you feeling tired and/or flat afterwards. Often, just being aware that this is a factor is helpful. It also helps to take extra care of yourself. Get some rest, eat well and stay hydrated. It’s also okay to check in with me in the days following the session if you need to debrief.

Feeling more comfortable? Ready to book? Visit my Apply to Serve page to make contact.